Symptoms of insanity or just a leaky worldview?

'leaky_faucet' photo (c) 2010, Maegan Tintari - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/I am a failure. A bad christian. A horrible husband, and a lousy father. I have not been reading the bible. I have not been praying. I have not been “shining my light”, and I certainly have not been immersing myself in “Christian” media.

At least by the standards of some.

For the last eight months, I have admittedly been caught in a dilemma. To state I have been “on the fence” concerning my “biblical” worldview would be a relief, but at the current time, remains an overstatement. It is more likely that I have been just looking at the fence, and ignoring it. It has been much easier to know the fence is there without doing much about it than it has to simply take action.

It is also during this time that I have removed my family from the confines of any “church” type structure. Be it house church, organic church, or whatever church, we have simply ceased to participate. Has this affected our spirituality? In principal, yes. Should it be of great concern to me as a husband and a father? You bet! Has that concern motivated me to take action and inject some sort of pseudo normalcy that represents a form of “Christianity?” Not really.

Several reasons are the cause behind my inaction. These are also the leading contributors to the “leaks” in my worldview.

Biblical Christianity seems to me nothing than an Adjective and a Noun: What I mean is, they are just words. The definition is not definitive or conclusive. No two churches, groups, or organizations will look the same. Unless you are a cult (ie. Jehovah’s Witnesses, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), consistency is not common.

Conforming to acceptable standards of piety are not inherently bible based: Most standards for which churches, groups, or organizations base genuine adherence to the faith of “Christianity” is superficial and/or untrue. Dare I say what is true for you may be so, but it s not always true for me? For me to adhere appropriately in most circles, I have to have a daily bible reading plan, attend specific meetings (regardless of how loose the requirement is), and speak/act in similar cultural fashion. There are also the uncounted and rarely spoken rules of conduct and conformity that also qualify you as a legitimate member that seem unqualified by scripture as well.

So little of what passes as “Christian” has anything to do with what Jesus actually taught: The inspired scriptures, or the writings of 1st Century Saints, are all we have to tell us about what Jesus taught. Harder still, the context by which we see adherence measured in the United States is woefully “American Patriotism.” The teachings of Lord Jesus when adhered to as they are written, often result in shunning from his “followers.” Yet, doing what he has instructed seldom manifests itself in today’s church. If I choose to remain in the minority and reject conformity, I continue as a pariah, or rebel and remain labeled as disobedient and unfaithful to my family.

So, have I gone crazy? Not yet. Am I lost to the faith and never to be seen again? Unlikely. Do I still have faith and trust in the Messiah Jesus Christ? You bet! Do I feel alone in the wilderness? Not really, there are only “one set of footprints” out here, but I know who is carrying me right now. So I guess you can say, I am praying. I am meditating upon the teachings of Christ our savior, and I am confident that true piety is found in how he rates my obedience. Hearing “well done” comes from him, not your pastor so and so or brother whats his face.

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James

I love writing about books, theology, and the Kingdom of God. I also enjoy viewing my vocation through a biblical lens. It is here at Seeking A Kingdom that I aim to hash out my thoughts on all these things.

3 thoughts on “Symptoms of insanity or just a leaky worldview?”

  1. You ain’t the only one brother. We are still going through the motions if for no other reason than the social aspects but as far as meaningful community with other believers? That seems to be rarely found and almost never in anything officially sanctioned as “Christian”.

  2. Not much to add besides a wave from a passing ship in the same waters. That old canard from Hebrews about forsaking the assembling… I don’t think it was meant to oblige the Christians to go back to the Jewish synagogues. I think in the context the PROBLEM was the Christians leaving their gatherings because of persecution and returning to the synagogue because they felt it was too hard being on the outside. Taken by itself in isolation it would be strange to read the verse this way, I grant. But in the context of the author of Hebrews writing to, ahem, Hebrews, demonstrating the obsolescence of the Law and of the Mosaic covenant and speaking of the true Mount Zion around which we are ALL gathered, I think it makes very much sense indeed that the command is not so much the necessity to meet with some particular group, but the necessity of staying true to the faith when you feel alone and vulnerable (alone in this sense including a very small group outside the norm of their surrounding culture).

    You are at the foot of Mount Zion. We do in a sense await the return of Christ from his ascent of the mountain. We do not need to replace him with any gilded thing.

    1. Arlan. Thanks for your post. Interesting food for thought. You offer a perspective that goes a little deeper than my purview of this passage has ever taken me. I will examine this passage and consider your comment.

      Thanks for reading!

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